erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
