this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
