it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
even my farts smell like vagina
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
