True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize