fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
