Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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