do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
