I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
