You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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