Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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