if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize