The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize