Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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