Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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