I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
