we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize