I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
