Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
