whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
