hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
