I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
