she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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