its not stalking. its research.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
