After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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