Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
