you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
only you would photoshop your dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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