Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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