I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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