Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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