your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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