I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
