so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize