You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
