i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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