He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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