and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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