I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
