well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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