This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
