i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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