I'm going to jail i love you
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
