Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
