Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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