You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
