I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!