i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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