If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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