Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
