dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
