dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
