I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
