Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
