Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
