I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
